The Merchant's House, Frome, Somerset

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Saturday, 16.45
Arriving in Frome by bus from Bath (just a 30 ride away), we walk up the pretty cobbled road of Catherine Hill until we reach Whittox Lane. John Whittox was a wealthy local merchant (Frome was once a prosperous mill town) and in 1696 he built the huge Queen Anne property here that’s now known as The Merchant’s House.

16.59
We’re met by the owner, Gina, and shown through to our room, although not via the grand front door as we‘d hoped. The lobby area’s more modern than we’d expected of the property, with no period details, but Gina tells us that it is due for re-decoration.

17.05
Our room  - one of two - is much more like it though. There’s a large carved bed and matching wardrobe, as well as a kidney-shaped dressing table with stool which, Monsieur 2 observes, is "very Downton Abbey".

By one of the huge sash windows which look out onto the rolling landscaped garden there’s a classic roll-top claw-footed bath, too. The overall effect is quintessentially English without being chintzy - we like it.

17.18
Picking up on our evident interest in architecture, owner Gina kindly offers to show us round. After falling into disuse in the last century the house was completely refurbished, under the guidance of English Heritage, by its previous owner - our favourite gay multi-millionaire financier Ivan Massow.

The rooms are beautifully proportioned with high ceilings and mural panels, and formerly bricked-up windows have been painstakingly reopened - Ivan did a great job.

18.00
Back in our room, we freshen up in the little bathroom at the smart butler sink and change for the evening - the reason for our stay is a trip to the theatre in Yeovil to see one of our favourite comedians, Sandi Togsvig,

23.25
We arrive back to find that fresh milk has thoughtfully been left out for us - perfect for a bedtime cuppa. We like that there are a couple of jars of biscuits in the hallway to help ourselves from too - much nicer than the stingy plastic-wrapped servings in some places we’ve stayed!

23.56
Climbing into the very comfy bed we notice how nicely old-fashioned it is, with a traditional sprung mattress and broderie anglaise eiderdown which all add to the stately home feel of the room. We’re also pleased to see carafes of water on our bedside tables - a welcome homely touch.

Sunday 07.50
Waking bright and early we make a cup of tea and run ourselves a delightfully deep bath.

There’s a whole range of lovely locally-made lavender products (our room is even called the Lavender Room) and a leisurely soak a deux is a really relaxing way to start the day.

09.20
Breakfast is served in the kitchen - and what an impressive kitchen it is, running the full length of the house. With its warming AGA and flagstone floors, Downton Abbey’s Mrs Patmore would be right at home.

We settle in at the table and are brought pots of tea and coffee. There’s cereal, piping hot toast and real butter, fresh fruit salad, pastries served warm from the oven, local cheeses and charcuterie, and home-made jams. It’s a very English take on a continental breakfast!

10.30
Time to explore Frome. It’s quiet as anything on a Sunday morning but is thriving at other times, with an artisan market at weekends featuring local food and craft producers and numerous music and arts festivals throughout the year. We enjoy roaming the higgledy-piggledy streets of the hillside town and stop to marvel at the open stream that runs along Cheap Street!

11.55
After lattes in a local coffee shop it’s time to head home; we pick up our bags from The Merchant's House and head out through the beautiful garden to make our way to the station. We’ve enjoyed our stay, it’s made a nice change to spend the night somewhere traditional, cosy and homely rather than the more polished places we usually choose. We’ve also really appreciated Gina's very attentive, personal service.

Our only real reservation is the heavy premium for a single night's stay, which we didn't feel merited; our room was £160 for the night but would have been just £120 if we'd stayed for two or more. We understand the economics of businesses needing to drive longer stays but it felt oddly corporate given the otherwise family-run feel of the place.

We enjoyed our time with Gina at The Merchant’s House, and recommend it for travellers seeking a warm welcome, a great breakfast and a distinctively English experience. But avoid the supplement and make the most of it - explore Bath, Stourhead and the pretty surrounding towns - and stay for a two-night break, rather than one.

N: Merchant's House Frome
A: Frome, Somerset
T: Book through Unique Homestays: +44 (1) 637 881 942
E: enquiries@uniquehomestays.com
W: www.themerchantshouse.uniquehomestays.com/

The Neo, B+B, Brighton

Wednesday
We never need an excuse for a trip to Brighton, but when a friend of ours lands a part in a play at the famous Theatre Royal we know we have to be there for opening night, and since we’re invited to the cast party we decide to make a night of it and stay over. A quick look online turns up The Neo, which appears to tick all the right boxes.

16.15
It takes us 15 minutes to walk to The Neo from Brighton station, which is just outside the city centre.

On the way we pass colourful fruit and veg stalls, a stern statue of Queen Victoria, and a myraid of quirky boutiques. It's all so marvellously British, and sums up the eccentricity of this lovely seaside resort. 

And so it continues inside The Neo - the first thing we see when we enter is a huge stag’s head mounted on the wall – we love a bit of taxidermy!

16.18
As we check-in, we're surprised to be told that The Neo’s unstaffed between 9.00pm and 8.30am, but we are given our own front door key and we can come and go as we please.

16.25
We’re shown up to our room - No. 5, a well-proportioned double on the second floor.

A feature wall is papered in a striking black and metallic Japanese floral pattern, complementing black Chinese furniture, and the bed has a dramatic headboard in pale suede. Sash windows let abundant daylight in and the overall effect’s very smart and inviting.

16.35
It’s a hot day so we decide to freshen up in the minimally-chic, black mosaic-tiled shower. The shower head’s a bit loose and leaky but with some contortions we both manage a good hot soaking.

There’s no faulting the big fluffy towels though, and we like the waffle bathrobes too. We’re also impressed by the huge double-ended bath – taps in the middle! – surely designed with deux messieurs in mind.

17.50
Glad-rags on, we head out for a bite to eat. A ten minute stroll along the prom takes us to the Brighton branch of Little Bay, one of our favourite London mini-chains.

18.00
We’re shown up a staircase to a fabulous cantilevered balcony where our table awaits. We sip cocktails – my Margarita is excellent – while we wait for our food to come. Little Bay's prices are incredibly low – except for a few specials - starters are under £3 and main courses under £6 – but there’s no compromising on quality.

My goat’s cheese in filo pastry starter is wonderful; but with his sirloin steak and goose fat chips Monsieur 2 has the better main course - my plaice fillet stuffed with crab is good but needs seasoning.

There's a good choice of wines by the glass, and our bill for two with drinks and a tip is under £40! If only we’d left time for dessert, but the theatre beckons...

22.30
Show over, we head off to the cast party at stylish cabaret pub 112 Church Street (we love its little patio garden) before hitting the gay scene. Most of Brighton’s most popular bars are along the seafront, and we end up in bar/club Legends until the wee small hours.

02.11
Stumbling happily back to The Neo, we collapse into the splendidly comfortable 5’ bed. It’s been a long night and we need our sleep!

09.48
Waking bleary-eyed we head down to elegant sun-filled breakfast room ready for a fry-up. But disaster – we had been told, but had forgotten, that breakfast’s only served until 9.30, which strikes us as rather early especially for somewhere aimed firmly at holiday-makers rather than early-rising business people. A waitress takes pity on us and manages to rustle us up some granola, orange juice and a pot of coffee. Phew.

10.20
Back in room 5 we decide that a long soak in that giant tub will put us right. We can't remember when check out is and no-one’s answering the phone at reception so we take a gamble on it being around 11 o’clock (it's actually 11.30) and relax and splash around until it’s nearly time to go. Perfect!

11.05
Waved on our way by the receptionist we head for the train; walking along Queen’s Road, the main route up from the seafront to the station, we spot Cocoa, a lovely French cafe-patisserie where we enjoy wonderful coffee and some ham and cheese croissants - oh how we needed that carbs-and-fat fix. We also can’t resist taking away a few of their incredible macaroons which are the best we’ve tasted anywhere, including France!

12.19
We're smiling as the train pulls out of Brighton; we’ve had a great time in one of our favourite places, and even if The Neo wasn’t quite as plush and the service not quite as attentive as it is in some places we’ve stayed, it was a good-value base for a night, we’d be glad to recommend.

N: The Neo Hotel (Bed and Breakfast)
T: 01273 711 104
A: 19 Oriental Place, Brighton, BN1 2LL
E: info@neohotel.com
Our rating: ***+

Burrow House, Broadstairs, Kent

We're on our way. 

Thursday 18.15
One of our best girlfriends raves about Broadstairs in Kent so much that Monsieur 2 and I have decided to head down for a night to see if we might fancy a longer visit sometime. Another friend who lives locally has recommended bed and breakfast Burrow House for its quiet location just off the sea-front; we arrive there after a ten minute stroll from Broadstairs station.

18.25
At the door we’re greeted warmly by dapper proprietor Gavin and shown first into what he describes as ‘your drawing room’.

It’s a bright, large room at the front of the immaculate Victorian house and we’re happy to sink into a vast velvet sofa and fill out the visitors’ book.

Gavin points out an Inspector Gadget-worthy buzzer wired into a cigar box with which he can be contacted at any time - talk about personal service!


We love a spot of gadgetry - and this is ingenious!

18.36
Gavin shows us up to our room, one of just four - the Wallace. It’s a good size, its centrepiece a beautiful Rococo-style carved king size bed; there are also a couple of very comfy looking deep-red velvet armchairs and an eye-catching ornate chandelier. The room has all the elegance of any boutique hotel we’ve stayed in, but with the personal feel of someone’s home.

Our bedroom at Burrow House features a Rococo-style carved king-size bed.

18.52
Once we’ve unpacked, we decide to head down to the beach as it’s a beautiful sunny evening. We know it can’t be far as we can just see the sea from our window! Turning left out of Burrow House, it’s a couple of minutes to the promenade and then just a few hundred metres further along - past Lillyputt Minigolf, sadly closed! - to the golden sandy sweep of Viking Bay.

Viking Bay

With the sun slowly setting and the gentle waves lapping the sand, it couldn’t be more romantic. The locals are a bohemian bunch and no-one bats an eyelid as we walk happily hand-in-hand.

19.25
Ready for a drink, we wander from the seafront and chance upon the Neptune’s Hall, what Monsieur 2 calls ‘an old man’s pub’ but I prefer to think of as ‘unspoiled’. We enjoy a pint of local Shepherd Neame ale and admire some of the photos from the annual Dickens festival which passes through the pub. Charles Dickens, Britain’s greatest ever author, was a regular visitor to Broadstairs and notably its most famous fan. His novel Bleak House was inspired by the place, and as we walk around the town we smile as we clock plenty of references to one of our favourite literary legends.

The Charles Dickens Museum

20.40
We’ve read that there are some good restaurants in the town but ever since we caught a waft of salt and vinegar as we walked down from the station we’ve been dreaming of fish and chips! We pick some up from top-notch chippy Star Of The Sea on the High Street, and take them back down to the promenade.

As we eat, night falls and the moon reflects on the water...it’s picture perfect.

21.15
As we stroll back towards Burrow House the neon sign of Morelli’s ice-cream parlour catches our eye and draws us in. There’s a huge variety of flavours of both gelato and sorbet; we can’t resist and share a cone of rhubarb and custard and mint choc chip - delicious.

Morelli's Icecream Parlour, Broadstairs

21.35
Back at Burrow House we head up to the Wallace Room, noticing on the way that stencilled lampshades cast striking shadows on the walls, a design detail that meets our approval. We make a bedtime cuppa, slip between the silky-soft covers and snuggle up to watch an old movie. Bliss.

Friday 08.00
Waking to the sound of seagulls from a very peaceful night’s sleep - the bed was super-comfy with its memory foam mattress - we start the day with a shower in our small, but pretty bathroom using the patriotic Penhaligon’s products.

08.30
We saunter downstairs to the sun-filled dining room for breakfast, collecting our complimentary Independent newspaper on the way.

A table’s been set for us by the bay window, ready with a colourful fresh fruit platter and freshly-squeezed orange juice.

Gavin used to be a chef and has even served royalty - he clearly knows how to make guests feel like it too. He personally cooks our full English, using some wonderful local produce - we both comment on the wonderful thick bacon and properly meaty sausages, and it’s all served with elegance and impeccable manners.

09.20
Although we don’t have to check out until 11.00, we bid Gavin and Burrow House goodbye as we want to spend some more time enjoying the town before our train home. Just round the corner we stop for coffee and cake at 1950s-themed Oscar’s Festival Cafe, a tiny little hut bursting with character - it feels like a community centre as much as a cafe!

We also visit some of the town’s little side streets lined with beautiful 17th century cottages, before one last stroll along the beach.

11.11
Time to board the train home, but only for now; our girlfriend was right about how brilliant Broadstairs is. We’re definitely going to come back for longer, and take in the nearby Thanet towns of Margate and Ramsgate too. When we do, we’ll certainly be very happy to return for more of the homely luxury and warm welcome of Burrow House.

Au revoir to the glorious Viking Bay

N: Burrow House
A: Granville Road, Broadstairs, Kent CT10 1QD
T: 01843 601817
E: enquiries@burrowhouse.com
W: burrowhouse.com
Our rating: ****

Hazlitt's, Soho, London

Saturday, 17.20
Before today, Monsieur 2 and I have walked past this discreet terrace of Georgian houses on Soho’s fashionable Frith Street dozens of times and always assumed that the name ‘Hazlitt’s’, painted elegantly above the door, was that of a venerable law firm, or private members’ club. But a writer friend of ours has spilled the beans and let us in on the fact that behind the dark green door lies an extremely luxurious hotel, popular with authors, actors and other creative types. Her enthusiastic recommendation was all the persuading we needed and we’ve booked ourselves in for a night.

17.25
The reception area sets the tone for the rest of the hotel; grand, formal, but friendly. The concierge beams as he tells us that our room is his favourite. He walks us along a chandelier-lit corridor to the lift, pointing out the residents’ lounge complete with honesty bar on the way.

17.29
The thirty rooms at Hazlitt’s don’t have numbers, they’re named after people who have lived at or visited this address (William Hazlitt, the great 19th century essayist, died here in 1830 giving the hotel its name). Our room is the Duke of Monmouth; I say ‘room’, but as we enter and see a staircase to our left we realise that it is in fact a suite!

Checking out the bedroom first, we’re immediately impressed by the gorgeous decor - with tapestries and oil paintings it’s certainly a room fit for a Duke!

The immense canopied bed bears the royal crest, reflecting the Duke of Monmouth’s princely blood; in the bay window, half-concealed by heavy floor-to-ceiling velvet curtains, there’s an elegant antique writing desk. There are some unobtrusive mod-cons though; mirrored panels conceal a flat-screen TV, and the heavy plush window blinds are electric. It’s the perfect balance of old and new.

Most spectacular is the enormous bathtub occupying one side of the room, watched over by a life-size bronze eagle from whose beak the water flows. We’ve never seen anything like it!

17.40
We head upstairs. There’s a comfortable lounge area (complete with chess table!), a shower room - the toilet is concealed within an actual wooden throne - and an incredible in-room bar stocked with bottles of spirits, wines and, our new favourite amenity against which all others will be judged, a champagne fridge containing full-size bottles of fine fizz!

As if we could be any more excited by our opulent digs, we open up the French windows and step out onto...our very own private roof terrace. One flick of a switch retracts the glass ceiling and opens us up to the warm evening air. We grab a bottle of bubbly from the fridge, pop the cork and relax. This really is the life.

19.05
We’re starting to get peckish. The only thing Hazlitt’s lacks is its own restaurant but this being Soho, we’re absolutely spoiled for choice. On the strength of great word-of-mouth we head for hot new ramen bar Tonkotsu on neighbouring Dean Street, where we slurp delicious bowls of rich pork broth and noodles and wash down the best kara age - fried chicken - and gyoza we’ve had in a long while with craft beers.

20.08
It wouldn’t be a night in Soho without taking in a bit of the gay scene, and right opposite Hazlitt’s is cool bar Circa. We stop in for a couple of cocktails and are tempted to stay out, but knowing that the Duke of Monmouth suite is waiting for us across the road is enough to draw us back. We love it so much we want to make the most of it!

21.46
That sumptuous bathtub is easily big enough for two; we fill it deeply, splash in some of the gorgeous REN bath oil that’s included in the generous selection, and sink in for a soak...

23.12
Time for bed. The covers are beautifully soft, the mattress is just right...it’s not long before we’re sound asleep.

Sunday 09.30
There’s a knock at the door and a maid brings in our breakfast, chosen the night before. It’s a bright morning so we take the tray out to the roof terrace. There’s a bacon sarnie for me  - good bacon, but rather dry crunchy bread - and healthy fresh fruit and granola for Monsieur 2, along with some pastries.

Compared to the supreme quality of everything else about Hazlitt’s, breakfast seems a bit ordinary, but quite frankly where else could you say you ate breakfast on a roof terrace, in morning sunshine, watched over by a full-size marble stag?!

10.55
With some reluctance, we bid au revoir to the Duke of Monmouth; it really is a remarkable suite in a hotel full of character and charm. On the way down to reception we notice a writing desk and chair set out on a landing, as if waiting for William Hazlitt to come back one day. We certainly wouldn’t blame him, as we know we will.

N: Hazlitts
A: 6 Frith Street, Soho Square, London W1D 3JA
T: +442074341771
E: reservations@hazlitts.co.uk
W: hazlittshotel.com
Our rating: ****

www.deuxmessieurs.com