At The Chapel, Bruton, Somerset | les Deux Messieurs

Friday, 16.00

An in-the-know local friend has raved to us about At The Chapel, a ‘restaurant with rooms’ in Bruton. From outside, little suggests that there’s more to this restrained building than meets the eye. But as we enter, we see bakers at work and displays of beautiful breads and cakes through a large picture window. Blow the diet – we’ll be trying some of those later!

Double doors open into a dramatic central space – the former chapel – with soaring ceiling and a centre-piece cascading chandelier. We’re warmly greeted and checked in; “Settle into your room and then come on down for cocktail!” we’re told – these are our kind of people.

16.10
We’re shown upstairs to Room 2. A massive stained glass window imbues the room with softly diffused light. The bed is super-king size, simply clothed in white. The walls, too, are white; colour comes from a bold modern artwork and coloured panels in the window.

A long wooden counter runs along one wall and we spot a tray with ice, limes and glasses ready for us to make welcome drinks. The stylish seating area with a shaggy rug, sleek modern armchair and lamp that would look at home in any design museum.

We’re shown how to use the touch-screen remote control that operates the TV and sound system; there’s a cordless iPod dock too that impresses music-loving Monsieur 2. The combination of minimal, monastic decor with cool modern furniture and state-of-the-art technology ticks all our boxes.

16.55
Time for cocktails al fresco on the terrace. The hand-built flint walls and climbing vines remind us of Tuscany, and there’s a beautiful view over the rooftops of the town.

The cocktail list is replete with classics, and a few bespoke creations. Our dry Martini and Moscow Mule are expertly-made, and huge – we imagine we’re in Sex And The City.

19.05
After a leisurely stroll around Bruton, we change and head back downstairs, stopping to admire the impressive sculpture above the bar.

The sun’s still shining outside, and we decide to make the most of it, stepping back out onto the terrace for pre-dinner drinks, Cosmos this time. When we’ve finished we order some Prosecco and a plate of antipasti to go with it; it’s wonderful, especially the smoky roasted peppers which have been cooked in the pizza oven.

20.07
We’re shown to our table in the dining room. Now night’s fallen and the lights have gone down, the room is dark, sexy and buzzy – it’s exciting! We take ages to choose from the mouth-watering menu, while nibbling on fantastic sourdough from the bakery.

We love what we eventually settle on; Monsieur 2’s chicken liver pate has real depth of flavour while my salad of perfectly pink wood pigeon with figs and bacon is cleverly composed.

Main courses are equally accomplished. My Lyme Bay sea bream with tomato salsa, fennel and courgettes is light, fresh and a really beautiful piece of fish. Monsieur 2’s huge rare rib-eye steak is gorgeous and he particularly likes the punchy peppercorn sauce and super-crisp fries. We finish with perfect puddings, a sinfully rich chocolate Nemesis and baked New York-style cheesecake with strawberries.

We drink a bottle of crisp Albarino from At The Chapel’s excellent wine list, and like it so much that we order some to take home with us from their wine shop! Service throughout is spot on – courteous, enthusiastic and attentive. We stumble up to bed happy.

23.12
Time to sleep. The bed is so comfy, with massive squashy pillows; we’re out for the count in minutes.

Saturday 07.40
Waking up to sunshine peeking round the curtains, we make a pot of Teapigs tea (with fresh Somerset milk from the fridge) and reach out of the door for the breakfast tray that’s thoughtfully provided – a croissant, baked during the night, with butter and home-made jam. They’re without doubt the best croissants we’ve ever tasted. What a start to the day!

08.20
We shower in the huge wet-room – so much space to splash around in! – with the fab REN products provided. There’s a massive bathtub too – this bathroom has definitely been designed with deux messieurs in mind.

08.58
We head down to the restaurant for breakfast, Monsieur 2 immediately ordering another of those delicious croissants. The menu’s concise and covers all the bases – cereals, pastries, eggs, bacon sarnies…

Monsieur 2 fancies poached eggs which aren’t on the menu but are rustled up for him – and perfectly. The room’s busy with locals, guests – and a rather famous TV presenter!

11.15
After one last cup of great coffee, we decide to head off; we could happily stay here all day but we’re going to visit beautiful Bath, just eleven miles away.


Everything about our stay has been simply perfect, from the stunning room, to those cocktails Carrie would kill for, the delicious food, wonderful service and thrilling atmosphere. The thoughtfulness and generosity that characterise how At The Chapel is run completely redefine what ‘luxury’ is.

Our time here has been a pure quality experience – and that’s something money just can’t buy. Not to mention, we have rather fallen for the owners’ Newfoundland dogs.

Our rating: We’ve given this gay friendly boutique hotel in Somerset, South West England, top marks – a full 5 star rating.
View more on At the Chapel and what to do in the area at deuxmessieurs.com

The Neo, B+B, Brighton

Wednesday
We never need an excuse for a trip to Brighton, but when a friend of ours lands a part in a play at the famous Theatre Royal we know we have to be there for opening night, and since we’re invited to the cast party we decide to make a night of it and stay over. A quick look online turns up The Neo, which appears to tick all the right boxes.

16.15
It takes us 15 minutes to walk to The Neo from Brighton station, which is just outside the city centre.

On the way we pass colourful fruit and veg stalls, a stern statue of Queen Victoria, and a myraid of quirky boutiques. It's all so marvellously British, and sums up the eccentricity of this lovely seaside resort. 

And so it continues inside The Neo - the first thing we see when we enter is a huge stag’s head mounted on the wall – we love a bit of taxidermy!

16.18
As we check-in, we're surprised to be told that The Neo’s unstaffed between 9.00pm and 8.30am, but we are given our own front door key and we can come and go as we please.

16.25
We’re shown up to our room - No. 5, a well-proportioned double on the second floor.

A feature wall is papered in a striking black and metallic Japanese floral pattern, complementing black Chinese furniture, and the bed has a dramatic headboard in pale suede. Sash windows let abundant daylight in and the overall effect’s very smart and inviting.

16.35
It’s a hot day so we decide to freshen up in the minimally-chic, black mosaic-tiled shower. The shower head’s a bit loose and leaky but with some contortions we both manage a good hot soaking.

There’s no faulting the big fluffy towels though, and we like the waffle bathrobes too. We’re also impressed by the huge double-ended bath – taps in the middle! – surely designed with deux messieurs in mind.

17.50
Glad-rags on, we head out for a bite to eat. A ten minute stroll along the prom takes us to the Brighton branch of Little Bay, one of our favourite London mini-chains.

18.00
We’re shown up a staircase to a fabulous cantilevered balcony where our table awaits. We sip cocktails – my Margarita is excellent – while we wait for our food to come. Little Bay's prices are incredibly low – except for a few specials - starters are under £3 and main courses under £6 – but there’s no compromising on quality.

My goat’s cheese in filo pastry starter is wonderful; but with his sirloin steak and goose fat chips Monsieur 2 has the better main course - my plaice fillet stuffed with crab is good but needs seasoning.

There's a good choice of wines by the glass, and our bill for two with drinks and a tip is under £40! If only we’d left time for dessert, but the theatre beckons...

22.30
Show over, we head off to the cast party at stylish cabaret pub 112 Church Street (we love its little patio garden) before hitting the gay scene. Most of Brighton’s most popular bars are along the seafront, and we end up in bar/club Legends until the wee small hours.

02.11
Stumbling happily back to The Neo, we collapse into the splendidly comfortable 5’ bed. It’s been a long night and we need our sleep!

09.48
Waking bleary-eyed we head down to elegant sun-filled breakfast room ready for a fry-up. But disaster – we had been told, but had forgotten, that breakfast’s only served until 9.30, which strikes us as rather early especially for somewhere aimed firmly at holiday-makers rather than early-rising business people. A waitress takes pity on us and manages to rustle us up some granola, orange juice and a pot of coffee. Phew.

10.20
Back in room 5 we decide that a long soak in that giant tub will put us right. We can't remember when check out is and no-one’s answering the phone at reception so we take a gamble on it being around 11 o’clock (it's actually 11.30) and relax and splash around until it’s nearly time to go. Perfect!

11.05
Waved on our way by the receptionist we head for the train; walking along Queen’s Road, the main route up from the seafront to the station, we spot Cocoa, a lovely French cafe-patisserie where we enjoy wonderful coffee and some ham and cheese croissants - oh how we needed that carbs-and-fat fix. We also can’t resist taking away a few of their incredible macaroons which are the best we’ve tasted anywhere, including France!

12.19
We're smiling as the train pulls out of Brighton; we’ve had a great time in one of our favourite places, and even if The Neo wasn’t quite as plush and the service not quite as attentive as it is in some places we’ve stayed, it was a good-value base for a night, we’d be glad to recommend.

N: The Neo Hotel (Bed and Breakfast)
T: 01273 711 104
A: 19 Oriental Place, Brighton, BN1 2LL
E: info@neohotel.com
Our rating: ***+

Hazlitt's, Soho, London

Saturday, 17.20
Before today, Monsieur 2 and I have walked past this discreet terrace of Georgian houses on Soho’s fashionable Frith Street dozens of times and always assumed that the name ‘Hazlitt’s’, painted elegantly above the door, was that of a venerable law firm, or private members’ club. But a writer friend of ours has spilled the beans and let us in on the fact that behind the dark green door lies an extremely luxurious hotel, popular with authors, actors and other creative types. Her enthusiastic recommendation was all the persuading we needed and we’ve booked ourselves in for a night.

17.25
The reception area sets the tone for the rest of the hotel; grand, formal, but friendly. The concierge beams as he tells us that our room is his favourite. He walks us along a chandelier-lit corridor to the lift, pointing out the residents’ lounge complete with honesty bar on the way.

17.29
The thirty rooms at Hazlitt’s don’t have numbers, they’re named after people who have lived at or visited this address (William Hazlitt, the great 19th century essayist, died here in 1830 giving the hotel its name). Our room is the Duke of Monmouth; I say ‘room’, but as we enter and see a staircase to our left we realise that it is in fact a suite!

Checking out the bedroom first, we’re immediately impressed by the gorgeous decor - with tapestries and oil paintings it’s certainly a room fit for a Duke!

The immense canopied bed bears the royal crest, reflecting the Duke of Monmouth’s princely blood; in the bay window, half-concealed by heavy floor-to-ceiling velvet curtains, there’s an elegant antique writing desk. There are some unobtrusive mod-cons though; mirrored panels conceal a flat-screen TV, and the heavy plush window blinds are electric. It’s the perfect balance of old and new.

Most spectacular is the enormous bathtub occupying one side of the room, watched over by a life-size bronze eagle from whose beak the water flows. We’ve never seen anything like it!

17.40
We head upstairs. There’s a comfortable lounge area (complete with chess table!), a shower room - the toilet is concealed within an actual wooden throne - and an incredible in-room bar stocked with bottles of spirits, wines and, our new favourite amenity against which all others will be judged, a champagne fridge containing full-size bottles of fine fizz!

As if we could be any more excited by our opulent digs, we open up the French windows and step out onto...our very own private roof terrace. One flick of a switch retracts the glass ceiling and opens us up to the warm evening air. We grab a bottle of bubbly from the fridge, pop the cork and relax. This really is the life.

19.05
We’re starting to get peckish. The only thing Hazlitt’s lacks is its own restaurant but this being Soho, we’re absolutely spoiled for choice. On the strength of great word-of-mouth we head for hot new ramen bar Tonkotsu on neighbouring Dean Street, where we slurp delicious bowls of rich pork broth and noodles and wash down the best kara age - fried chicken - and gyoza we’ve had in a long while with craft beers.

20.08
It wouldn’t be a night in Soho without taking in a bit of the gay scene, and right opposite Hazlitt’s is cool bar Circa. We stop in for a couple of cocktails and are tempted to stay out, but knowing that the Duke of Monmouth suite is waiting for us across the road is enough to draw us back. We love it so much we want to make the most of it!

21.46
That sumptuous bathtub is easily big enough for two; we fill it deeply, splash in some of the gorgeous REN bath oil that’s included in the generous selection, and sink in for a soak...

23.12
Time for bed. The covers are beautifully soft, the mattress is just right...it’s not long before we’re sound asleep.

Sunday 09.30
There’s a knock at the door and a maid brings in our breakfast, chosen the night before. It’s a bright morning so we take the tray out to the roof terrace. There’s a bacon sarnie for me  - good bacon, but rather dry crunchy bread - and healthy fresh fruit and granola for Monsieur 2, along with some pastries.

Compared to the supreme quality of everything else about Hazlitt’s, breakfast seems a bit ordinary, but quite frankly where else could you say you ate breakfast on a roof terrace, in morning sunshine, watched over by a full-size marble stag?!

10.55
With some reluctance, we bid au revoir to the Duke of Monmouth; it really is a remarkable suite in a hotel full of character and charm. On the way down to reception we notice a writing desk and chair set out on a landing, as if waiting for William Hazlitt to come back one day. We certainly wouldn’t blame him, as we know we will.

N: Hazlitts
A: 6 Frith Street, Soho Square, London W1D 3JA
T: +442074341771
E: reservations@hazlitts.co.uk
W: hazlittshotel.com
Our rating: ****

www.deuxmessieurs.com

Zanzibar, Hastings

Thursday, 18.47 It’s tipping down with rain as our train pulls in, late, at St Leonard's Warrior Square station. It’s such a short walk - just across the Square and along the promenade - to Zanzibar, our hotel for the night, that we decide to forego a taxi.

She's not amused and at first, nor are we

But we still get soaked, and miserable; on the way we pass a statue of a very glum-looking Queen Victoria and like Her Majesty we're not amused either.

18.52 All cares are forgotten though the moment we arrive at Zanzibar. We’re greeted with a warm “Ah, I’ve been expecting you!” by duty manager Monica and given a quick show-round.

The decor’s very calming; the well-travelled owners have collected beautiful sculptures, religious artefacts and furniture from around the world and we spot many a quiet corner that would be perfect for meditation. 

Monica also points out the library of books and DVDs, from which we’re invited to help ourselves any time, and then taken upstairs to our room.

19.00 The eight rooms at Zanzibar take their names from favourite places the owners have been; ours is South America. It's fabulous, two rooms knocked into one, divided by a theatrical ceiling-to-floor curtain. On one side there’s the sleeping and living area, with a huge wooden bed and a dining table by the sash window looking out to sea. There’s even a telescope! 

To watch the boys go by!

The other side resembles our own private spa, with an immense bath tub, his-and-his limestone sinks, loads of full-size Elemis products and super-fluffy towels, robes and slippers. The only thing we don’t love is that there’s no door on the loo, it’s just tucked away in a corner; Monsieur 2 and I love each other very much and share most things, but there’s a line.

The bath is huge. And has Elemis goodies. Love.

19.10 We’ve been asked to choose what we’d like for breakfast from a lengthy menu and bring it down when we go for dinner. There’s no indication of what the supplements are for Champagne, or for having breakfast in bed, and then we realise why - there aren’t any. It’s all included! Neither of us can think of anywhere we’ve stayed where bubbly at breakfast comes as standard!

19.46 We change and go downstairs to the hotel restaurant Pier Nine, where another pleasant surprise awaits us -  a complimentary welcome drink! As we sip our G&Ts we choose from the modern bistro menu.

Monsieur 2 starts with fantastic crisp seafood fritto misto while I enjoy a fiddly-to-eat but delicious combination of dressed crab with potted shrimps. For our main courses I see off a good quality, if slightly dry, rare breed pork chop with mini jacket potatoes; Monsieur 2’s rib eye steak is on the blue side of rare but he decides to persevere and it’s terrific, especially dipped into the tangy red wine gravy.

Puddings - salted caramel ice cream with roasted mango puree, and Baileys arctic roll - are lick-the-plate-clean perfect. It’s been a lovely meal; with the room’s bright pastel colours and driftwood furniture, coupled with the sea view, it’s felt like eating in our own private beach-house.  

Friendly, playful service from L.A.-born waitress Jackie has been a hoot, and at just £40 each it’s one of the best, and best-value, meals we’ve had in quite a while. 

21.40
Back in the South America room we slip into the super-comfy bed and cuddle up to watch a DVD from the library - Shakespeare In Love suits our romantic mood and we fall asleep happily afterwards...  Friday 08.30
A blissful start to the day - a lovely soak in the bath with my free newspaper (another complimentary item that’s usually charged for!) Stapled to the front is the day’s weather forecast and suggestions for what to do in the town - so thoughtful!

Forecast for the day: fun and sun!

09.30
On the dot of the requested time, there’s a knock on the door and breakfast’s brought in. What a feast! 

Just the first part of our brilliant breakfast.

Great granola, juicy fresh fruit, Hastings kipper with melted butter and a poached egg for me and a full English for Monsieur 2, along with freshly-squeezed juice, tea and of course that decadent glass of bubbly. This really is the life.

Kipper for breakfast - delicious!

We fool around with our telescope watching the sea - and boys - from our window.

10.59

We know we’ve really liked somewhere when we wait until the very last minute to leave, and that’s exactly what we do at Zanzibar.

We’ve loved the warmth of welcome from all the staff, the sense of tranquility and escape, and the generosity of having so much included in the room rate that would be extra elsewhere. As we step out onto the promenade, the sun now shining in contrast to yesterday’s rain, we’re already talking about when we can come back again.

N: Zanzibar International Hotel A: 9 Eversfield Place, St Leonards-On-Sea, Hastings, East Sussex TN37 6BY

W: www.zanzibarhotel.co.uk

T: 01424 460109

E: info@zanzibarhotel.co.uk
Our rating: *****

The Zetter Townhouse, Clerkenwell, London

Unassuming and oh so chic 

Sunday 6pm
The taxi drops us at the discreet pale blue door of a grand double-fronted Georgian townhouse on quiet, cobbled St John’s Square in Clerkenwell.

From outside, nothing gives away that this is a hotel, but from the name elegantly engraved on the door we know we’re in the right place.

Through sash windows we see a candle-lit room packed with people talking animatedly; it looks like it could be a particularly fabulous private party. Fortunately, we’re invited!

Eccentric and holding no punches

6.03pm
The eccentrically-decorated room is unlike any hotel lobby we’ve ever seen.

Crammed with bric-a-brac, taxidermy and antiques, this is a very cool bar that doubles as a reception for the hotel above.

We’re greeted by the very chic duty manager and taken up in the horsehair-lined lift - we said the decor was eccentric - to the first floor.


6.10pm
Our room is the stunning Townhouse Apartment, and oh boy it’s a beauty.

At one end, an enormous bed is swathed in luxurious quilts and topped with masses of pillows while at the other there’s a lounge area with beautiful period furniture.

Our very own Lounge Area

There’s also a selection of our favourite magazines - it’s like they knew we were coming!

More of the same please!

In the middle of the room there’s a writing desk, and on that a handwritten welcome note and a plate of fresh fruit - just the kind of thoughtful personal touches we love. We kick our shoes off, climb onto our vast bed and feed each other strawberries for a while...

Pleasures come with the personal touch

6.30pm
Although we’re booked in for cocktails downstairs later, we decide to see what the mini-bar has to offer and it’s certainly stocked for enjoyment! As well as champagne, wine and spirits - at sensible prices  - there are classic cocktails mixed by the bar team and sealed in beautiful flasks. We call for a cocktail tray and within minutes we’ve got a shaker, glasses and ice and are ready to go. All that’s left to do is stir and serve.

My Negroni and Monsieur 2’s Martini are top-notch, and a table by one of the tall windows overlooking the square below is the perfect place to enjoy them.

Atmospheric and full of character

7.05pm
We head down to the bar and settle into the deep comfy couch that’s been reserved for us. We’re given the list of 12 house cocktails and informed that the bar staff - trained by world-renowned mixologist Tony Conigliaro no less - can rustle us up anything else we might fancy. We work our way through about half of the list, both especially loving a syrupy, rum-based Master At Arms.

7.52pm
Time for food. Everything on the menu, devised by legendary chef Bruno Loubet, sounds fantastic so we order a selection. Little merguez with chick peas, lemon-juice drenched griddled halloumi and earthy roasted vegetable dip with thin slices of toasted baguette prove perfect for soaking up the potent potions we’re drinking.

Beautiful bathroom, with plenty of REN treats

9.12pm
Back upstairs we uncork a bottle of wine and run ourselves a deep bubbly bath using the gorgeous REN products provided. The tap’s at the side, so no fighting over who gets which end either!

10.07pm
Finally freeing ourselves from the comfort of the tub, we wrap ourselves in fluffy robes and flop on the bed. Monsieur 2 spots that there’s an in-house DVD library at our disposal but let’s just say we decide to make our own entertainment instead...


Monday 7.40am
We’ve slept so well and so long that we’re up with the lark despite not having to be anywhere. I decide to fix us some coffee and not only do we have a Nespresso machine in the room, there’s also a milk frother for making perfect cappuccinos! Such a lovely start to the day.

The Zetter Hotel

8.20am
Expecting breakfast to be served in the lounge, we find that we actually have to go across to the main Zetter Hotel for it. It’s no great hardship but it feels a little odd to be leaving ‘our’ Townhouse to eat! The decor isn't as homely and staff aren’t quite as friendly here either, but our full English breakfasts are still enjoyable. Breakfast devoured, we grab the day’s newspapers and head back to our room for a last couple of hours before check-out.




11.09am
A cheeky cappuccino, a reviving drench shower and a last roll on that sumptuous bed and we’re - reluctantly - out the door. In our fantasy alternative existence - the one where we win the EuroMillions on a quintuple rollover week - we’d live in the country and maintain a grand London townhouse for entertaining when in the capital. Until that day comes, we’re very happy to make do with The Zetter Townhouse.

N: The Zetter Townhouse
T: 020 7324 4567
A: 49-50 St John's Square, London EC1V 4JJ
W: thezettertownhouse.com
Our rating: 4.5 out of 5